Chapter 9: Momma’s Boy

At this point in my life, I was going out every weekend with Morgan and just getting blitzed out of our minds. We frequented many of the clubs down Market St. and got into a good routine of thirsty Thursdays, freaky Fridays, and sloshed Saturdays. We never bought our own drinks, and only had one rule: don’t give them your real name. So then came the birth of my alter-ego, Lacy. I definitely did not mind being Lacy. She was an alternate reality than who I really was, who I needed to be. Lacy got all the drinks, did all the drugs, and didn’t need to live until Sunday to face the consequences.

We were out one Friday night when I ran into Ryan. I don’t know why I keep insisting on going back to high school to date guys, but they always seem to keep crawling back, one way or another. Ryan was another one of them. He was a jock, one of the popular ones. He was the captain of our basketball team, and homecoming royalty. He was a little shorter from what I remember, especially being a basketball player, but he was desirable nonetheless. He was the bad boy every girl wanted, and maybe that’s what made him attractive to me. We hit it off almost immediately, even though I couldn’t be Lacy that night.

We continued to talk for about two weeks before I saw him again. I found it strange he waited that long to want to see me, so naturally, I asked him about it. That’s when I learned he had a two year old daughter, who he watched every other week. I definitely didn’t like the idea of having to share my attention with someone else, but I didn’t want to miss out on an opportunity to date the high school Prom King, so I decided to give it a shot. Our first date, I went to watch one of his basketball games (he still played adult league games), then went back to his place. His place being his parents’ house. Again, strange thought he still lived with them, but I ignored that sign as well and kept plowing through. Sex with Ryan was quick, and left much more to be desired. A part of me knew this wasn’t heading in the right direction, but I wasn’t ready to move on yet.

I’d like to take this moment to re-introduce Nikki. We still kept in touch frequently, and still talked on a daily basis. I had told her about Ryan, so I came to her with a lot of Ryan advice. We all went to high school together, but she knew him better than I did. At the time, it didn’t seem like she was a huge fan. She constantly told me to move on, how he wasn’t a good person, and that he’d never amount to anything. A little harsh, but she laid it out pretty good. He was a twenty-something year old single father who lived with his mother, and worked a full time job at the foot locker. It didn’t sound too great, but in my mind, he had potential. He wanted to do more with his life, and I believed him. Plus, he really was a good father, so I trusted he’d know how to treat a woman. Idiot me decided that it would be in my best interest to help him see this potential, and stay with him. Even his own mother one day made a comment to me, asking me why I was even here, because I was too good for him. In hindsight, I should have listened her.

Over time, the sex did get better, but that was about the only thing that changed. He eventually got fired from his job for stealing, still stayed with his parents, and only saw me every other week. The more I complained about it to Nikki, the more irritated she got with me. “Sex isn’t everything” she would tell me, and basically yell at me to either get over it, or move on. I decided that she was probably right, and decided to stop seeing him officially, although we  still kept things casual. That same week, she started acting strangely. She started to report she would randomly run into Ryan at the grocery store, or at restaurants and Wal-Mart. It struck me as strange, since she didn’t live in the same neighborhood as him, so I asked her about it. She was always super defensive about it, and called me paranoid. And maybe I was, so I blew it off.

Less than a week later, she told me she liked him, met up with him, and hit it off. At this point, I was still talking to Ryan, even though we were not officially dating. I wasn’t sure who I was more upset with, her or Ryan. I felt equally betrayed by both of them, although I felt that she, as one of my best friends, she should have known better. I lost both a boyfriend and a best friend that day, which just about killed me emotionally. The way she handled it hurt the most. She stayed defensive, saying we were not actually together, so it was okay so I shouldn’t be mad. On top of that, I should be happy for her, that she found someone who made her happy, and that she couldn’t help the way she feels, so I should support that. So naturally, I just told her to fuck off, and leave me the hell alone. And she did just that.

I should have seen it coming. She was always the jealous type, and she always wanted what everyone else had. Her clothes, shoes, watches, everything she had was always what the “in” thing was. I knew she was like this with other people, but never would I have thought she would do it to me. Now I saw it. She was only pushing him away from me to get him closer to her. She was never supportive of our relationship, and I genuinely thought it was for my benefit, and I was terribly wrong.

They lasted no more than two months together. I hope that was enough to break a friendship. Ryan did reach out to me a short time ago. He added me on Instagram and sent me a message asking for my phone number. I happily supplied him with Nikki’s number, and never heard from him again.

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